Gay Dialogue--Translator

I want a commitment.

-Translation-

I'm sick of masturbation.

No, no, no. Not a fan of the "let's be friends" after break-up.

My experiences with this lately, I'm struck by one thing that I might just have one thing that most people don't have: empathy and mutuality.

Marriages turn to animosity, usually, because one -or both- stop(s) respecting the other and empathy dies. Friendship becomes impossible because one person usually hurts more in the breakup than the other (for one it's liberating; for the other it's devastating).

Seems to me -for as much as my opinion is worth- that there is the hope of something more there, but the friendship has also been untested. I hope you two can maintain it. Breakups are seldom mutually beneficial at first.

"Malfeasance"

Perhaps it really was my fault...maybe i did it entirely out of spite..


Oh well...

initial period

Believe it or not, I actually have a history of not being able to express my feelings vocally (typing it out for strangers on the internet? No problem).




Although extremely upset during the initial period when my relationship with

*****

was over, I never once shed any tears. And my ex's can attest to this; I'm not the most comforting person when it comes to crying. I physically stiffen up, grit my teeth, and get weirded out.

Gay Dialogue--Translation

You're the only man I've ever cared about.

--Translation--

You are the only man who hasn't rejected me.

Part Of Me

He'll never see that part of me
I want to be for him
What i could never be for you

"No rest for the wicked!"

Satan wondered how far those burned would go to seek vengeance. "Some were dumb, some are black, most were young. There ought to be something interesting there. But he couldn't wait around, there were some large, grand things going on all over the world. Something called internet was become accessible everywhere. "I can get into every home at the same time! Satan gloated. The new america was going into debt for wars and the new war was due any minute. The old world needed help thinking of new ways to get people to go to war. To still be willing to die. "No rest for the wicked!" He laughed as he flew away.

“Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so high."”

I've figured ****** out. Actually, wait... that's like me proclaiming that I've deciphered the hieroglyphics of the ancient Egyptians. However, I do think I'm onto his little game.

1. He's a lone-aphob. ****** hates to be alone.
2. He's a huge flirt that doesn't have any intention to do anything more
3. He uses the possibility of sex to get me to hang out
4. Although he definitely isn't the brightest crayola in the box, he certainly knows how to manipulate. He loves playing damsel in distress.



On my way to work, I'm on the phone with a good friend of mine and ******* calls me 3 times during the conversation. I finally call him back and he says (in a giggle), "Don't ignore my phone calls!"

-pinches bridge of nose-

Snippets of My Novel....Transcendent Glory

Paper Thin Walls...

Los Angeles, Ca
October 23rd, 2004

I'll never forget the nights when I come stumbling home from yet another house party or night at the bars. The front door bursts open and the light from the street lamps pour into the pitch black living room. Jared in the middle with his arms around us: I'm on one side, some broad is on the other. We're all cackling like drunken idiots at some joke that if we were sober, wouldn't even crack a smile on our faces.

Jared and girl quickly retreat to his bedroom and close the door. Fighting the spins, I tumble into my own bed. I hope that I'm drunk enough to sleep through anything, but then the sound that no one wants to hear comes creeping through my paper-thin walls.

My eyes shoot open. The visual images of my childhood chum pounding home syncs a little too well with the audible noises erupting only a few feet away from where I lay my head every night.

But you've been there. Sitting patiently, loyally. I've been in this situation numerous times and it is when I turn to you most. Like a beautiful rehearsed ballet, I roll over and grab you from under my bed. I flip on your switch and crank your volume notch to "Max".

Your music drowns out the moans, the groans and the heavy breathing. You distract my overly-imaginative brain. You're dependable, you're consistent, you're a true pal.

Thank You Mr. Sony Walkman CD Player...

That is until the batteries run out, and the smell of vomit envelopes my bedroom....

•“Everybody has a plan, ’till they get hit.”

I wanted to be as serene as the surface of a lake, hauntingly pretty and reflective that doesn't dare ripple.