David Thande ®

Fact

2012-01-19T13:33:00.000-08:00

- Relationship is a sequel to Friendship

Love to Think...About Everything...

2012-01-17T21:49:00.000-08:00

I apply the quote "it's not the lines but the spaces in between" to everything, even subconsciously. I love to think, and I tend to analyze everything, and analyze it to the extent of something simple not making any sense.

Learned from mistakes

2012-01-14T08:51:00.000-08:00

- Friendship takes steps and time to develop, it can’t be found, it happens or not.

in your future

2011-12-15T01:01:00.000-08:00

When someone decides to reemerge into your life and then as easily as they emerged, disappears into this vast and sometimes vapid world. It's a clear indication that they're just one of the many people that will fill in pages from your past. They were never intended to be in the chapters to follow. Take control and identify those people that will play a crucial role in your life's happiness and write them in as recurring supporting roles in your life. Too many times we give energy and "life" to the negative things that bring us down- may it be events, circumstances or people...leave all that in the past. They should not take up space in your future.

..as loyalty is

2011-09-26T03:49:00.000-07:00

..as loyalty is painted to the fullest on this tapestry. It's a bolstering scene to see myself revert to the nonchalant rock form which may have well made me the ideal man to make the save, yet it's too little...too late and nothing is worse than being too late...it's irony and a swelling of sadness. The melancholy overture emanates as there's the definite vacuum to be left with the relationship's demise amidst the onrushing deluge of peril; the waves of breath stopping sadness and it's my moral compass that outstands and reverberates with infinite plausibility - it surprises no one to see myself display the ultimate act of Love and Sacrifice.

...as loyalty is painted..in my eyes.. I don't hate you for leaving me... If in still, I love you.

What have you got if you're loved for what you offer and not who you are?

2011-06-15T23:45:00.000-07:00

It was safe; in his own quiet, warped way he idolized me. And there's enormous, seductive safety in idolatry.

Aspirations of a "Trophy" wife.

2011-06-07T17:56:00.000-07:00

I'm running around fancy country clubs in Los Angeles, in my gas slurping SUV, with my Manlo's heavy on the lead. While chatting away aimlessly with prostitution coke whores who don't like being called honey...Yes... Aspirations......

Chapter 2: Page 72: Human Concepts

2011-05-06T15:55:00.000-07:00

.....it makes it one of loyalty, trust, brotherhood, adolescence, innocence and touches all modern themes that ensure the impasse bodes from the nostalgic spectrum to the inner core of the human soul. It's a relevant tale sloped around the main theme of 'Family' on a scale that measures highly within the visceral base of the human concept of understanding emotion. Circumstances of fate...

My Birthday is Today!

2011-04-08T06:23:00.000-07:00

This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon

Are You Happy?

2011-04-04T04:44:00.000-07:00

When we're happy, it affects our posture (we tend to slump), the many small muscles in our face that make up our facial expression (we frown), and other physical things. But guess what, it also works the other way around. Often, if you straighten up your posture and consciously relax your tense muscles and smile (and speak in a pleasant way), you find yourself cheering up--plus you make others around you feel better, because it's catching. Consciously or unconsciously, others read the subtle signs of your body language. !

Dear Brittle Britney ( Brit Brit )

2011-04-03T00:59:00.000-07:00

Dear Britney Spears,

As a Britney observer, I must say these last performances were painful to watch. And as a sorta fan, I feel we should tell her the truth about her performances instead of excepting every single thing she throws at us. I remember this documentary Britney did. While her dancers were getting drinks of water taking a break before getting back up, Brit was in the mirror practicing her moves like her life depended on it. What happened to that Brit? The one that worked her ass and actually behaved as if she truly loves what she does? These performances seem like she has 100 other things she rather do. If she doesnt want to do this anymore, I say she should bow out gracefully, and leave us with the wonderful memories and performances shes given in the past. I dont want her to tarnish her iconic legacy with half-assed music and lackluster performances. She should regroup, rest, and spend some time with her children. And if she feels the grove, she can come back and give her fans what they deserve. Because this right here is a train wreak; she's lazy, slow, and medicated....perhaps you should.....well not be so toxic...

XoXO,

David Thande

"The Millionaire Next Door?"

2011-02-12T16:17:00.000-08:00

Ever read "The Millionaire Next Door?" (Obviously you haven't.) The MAJORITY of people with REAL money don't flaunt their wealth, often times "dress down" and generally live well below their means. And many people who walk around in suits emanating aires of pretension have far less money than the first group.

"THAT Guy"

2011-02-11T01:28:00.000-08:00

You may as well Punch a baby, talk about your herpes, shart loudly, & throw up on yourself while we watch a repo man take your (DAD'S) Cutlass Sierra car 'cause "THAT Guy" JUST as attractive 2

Debates That Fall In Line

2011-01-28T01:41:00.000-08:00

I need things to be intellectually stimulating, or they bore me. I'm a bit misconceived, and in short, I'm proud to be who I am. I learn without studying, and know without learning. Start a conversation with me on ANY topic, other than current events, and I'll be able to follow quite well, maybe even debate. To be honest, intellect, in general, is my niche.

I'm so simple that I'm complex.

2011-01-20T11:37:00.000-08:00

I'm so simple that I'm complex. My mind dances around simple, easy to grasp concepts and subconsciously craves unneeded complexity in things. Anything, actually. I have trouble with math because of that - the fact that I have a hard time comprehending answers when they're black and white. I always look for the shades of grey.

Hundred Challenging Things A Boy Can Do.

2011-01-18T11:42:00.000-08:00

I'm a bit paradoxical, too. Sometimes, I may seem completely detached and uninterested, but I am almost always secretly fascinated to the point of obsession. There are things that fascinate me that I'm not even aware of. I don't pay attention to detail as much as I look at everything as whole, then I proceed to analyze every detail in attempts to understand everything about something. I don't believe that what we see as understanding is complete. In fact, I don't believe it even comes close. There's always a how or why, and I am determined to find it, and maybe even press that issue. My defense mechanism against being dominated is questioning. Questioning and challenging. I don't even value my own beliefs if they don't survive challenges, and I, myself, will do the challenging.

limitations.

2011-01-15T10:07:00.000-08:00

We have enough limits already when it comes to find someone drjon: age, genre, sexual preference, effeminate or masculine, blond, black, Asian, latin or caucasian, location, mental stability, social status and so on. Just make sure you dont limit your options of finding someone special with trivial limitations.

What I meant...

2010-12-31T23:46:00.000-08:00

“I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”

Restitution...

2010-12-30T00:44:00.000-08:00

“Watching you walk out of my life does not make me bitter or cynical about love. But rather makes me realize that if I wanted so much to be with the wrong person how beautiful it will be when the right one comes along.”

Before Year's End

2010-12-27T00:08:00.000-08:00

Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.

Prepare For Repair

2010-12-19T14:35:00.000-08:00

Pedialite X (2 Red Bulls ) + Valium = Repair Kit

Honesty-Along Time Ago

2010-12-18T01:46:00.000-08:00

Unknown: "I think, I might love you'

David: "That's an awfully long sentence"

Unknown: "Doesn't that mean something?"

David: "Not anymore...I'm afraid it's too little; too late"

Ramblings This Year

2010-12-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

It's A Fan Club Duh

2010-12-07T21:39:00.001-08:00

Partay Partay!

2010-11-28T13:42:00.000-08:00

"Spent an Ecstacy and popper-filled night on rubber sheets offending every religion on the face of the earth."

Jo Couldn't Have Said It Better...

2010-11-20T11:21:00.000-08:00

Save your "sorry." One thing I don't need are anymore apologies. I got sorry greeting me at the front door. You can keep yours. I don't know what to do with them... I can't even... I have to throw some away. I can't even get to the clothes in my closet for all the sorries. I'm not even sorry about you being sorry.

Read Between The Lines

2010-11-18T03:38:00.000-08:00

I'm a black guy.
looking for sex.

Not looking for a
future ex
or strings of that nature.

more often than not
our profiles describe the person
we'd LIKE to be
not the person we are.

Or, it meticulously lists
all the things
we DON'T want.

My Stats R listed.
My Pics R posted.
Latins are HOT!
But all are welcome.
Equal Opportunity Slut here!

so...

SHOOT ME an email,
or hit me UP,
send me a smile,
a wink or unlock.
I take no offense
at these guestures.

After all,
Im just a black guy
looking for

Sucking, Fucking, Caressing, fondling, holding, 69, Rimming, Cumming, watching, stroking, porn, work.

Grey

2010-11-14T01:19:00.000-08:00

Remembering my awkwardness towards sex at thatyoung age of 13 and the grey emotions of trying to understand what I was feeling, emotions and confusion not limited to sexual preference or even gender. Remembering...

Badder Romancer

2010-11-04T12:04:00.000-07:00

I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar

intervention

2010-10-28T23:04:00.000-07:00

My friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this smartwater is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.

Friends At Your Advantage

2010-10-25T17:14:00.000-07:00

Austen Sydara May 19 at 1:28pm Report
i need your help; I'm all over the place

i really don't know how to word this right or if there is a right way but first let me start off with saying i know you don't owe me anything; anything at all; especially with my lack of communication that we've had with each other but through it all i still consider you one of my closest friends and someone I can turn too and trust.

i'm really embarassed to have to ask because its incredibly forward and tricky to traverse through it but i was wondering if i could borrow $XXXX from you.

i'm in this weird transition phase at work and don't get paid for another 2 weeks from now ; i've also recently and idiodically moved into a new apartment by myself in the city which drained my money litterally; so i'm stuck in this rut of feeling like i'm 18 again and can't afford to get around or buy food.

I'm a mess just when i think i have my shit together the reality of it all slaps me back into place.

i have every full intention of paying you back the second i get paid; I'm just stuck in a rut and my family finacially just like everyone else can't help me out and well i don't want to allude to them that i'm having trouble cause they have a hard time as it is putting my siblings through school.

this sucks to ask you but i'm just exhausting my options. i'm terribly sorry and please by no means do you have to agree to it i just wanted to ask

either way i wont think anything of it if you say no; if anything please pretend i never asked...for real. i just want to ask and whatever you decide won't effect anything.

Other than that I miss you terribly; and I want to catch up soon.

Austen.
Sent via Facebook Mobile

David Thande May 19 at 3:31pm
What's your account info? I can make a deposit tommrrow?
Sent via Facebook Mobile

Austen Sydara May 19 at 6:27pm Report
My account is overdrafted ( I'm like lindsay lohan right now.) So its probably best to moneygram it if you can.

My information is ;

Neyranh Sydara

Thank you so much david; it really mean a lot to me ; I really appreciate it and the minute I get paid; I'll give it back to you asap.

Thank you sooooo much again
Sent via Facebook Mobile

IT'S NEARLY NOVEMBER AND YOU'VE MADE NO EFFORT TO PAY ME BACK!!

Simply now parading about with his new boyfriend inconsiderately, doesn't want to communicate... It's my fault really others have whispered the same thing to me. But i gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Gold Fish Memory

2010-10-25T00:25:00.000-07:00

I offered to buy him a drink, he said he's not gay, so I said, well i have a goldfish, he said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.

Observations @ Work

2010-10-15T00:05:00.000-07:00

Few weeks at work, I'm starting to understand myself more.. For one I hate being slow to put my knowledge and insights out at work I often feel bad when I act defensive or like a know-it-all and people call me out on it. Sometimes being pressured to be with people when I don't want to be. I hardly can stand watching others with better social skills, but less intelligence or technical skill, do better professionally. Everyone says I never forget injuries or injustices; fearing being abandoned or taken advantage of exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger

Boy Meets World

2010-09-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

"I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had."

Lesson Learned

2010-09-11T19:43:00.000-07:00

being on the receiving end of a realtionship breakup, and the efforts one goes to hide the pain "..Underneath the guise of a smile, gradually I'm dying inside..",

Work In Progress

2010-09-04T12:02:00.000-07:00

I just turned in a 4 page review of my employee spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic

Chapter 7: Page 319: Sentiment cuts like a knife

2010-09-03T06:59:00.000-07:00

Often I wish I could ask, are you where you wanted to be? Did you get there easily?
Did I make you sacrifice? The words echo within my head, as I look on and smile. Your eyes no longer search with insufferable connections for mine. Nowhere a hint of a romance between us, it's become so vaguely familiar. And yet I remember sharing every single intimacy. Now so strange to me that we barely entertain, even the politest of phrases. The Sentiment cuts like a knife.

prejudices as preferences

2010-08-30T23:45:00.000-07:00

I've always been open to all sorts. If you have something like "(ethnicity) need not apply" or "UB2" in your profile, i'm not interested. too many people hide their prejudices as preferences - not my style

2010-08-19T12:05:00.000-07:00

Location: Bar In WeHo

Time: 11:34pm

Main bar, drink in hand..

David: So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?

Beautiful Stranger: That depends on: who are you?

Revelations

2010-08-12T17:05:00.000-07:00

To this day, I'm haunted by Patrick's words:

"I think there is something dark, deep down inside you."

He might have been right..

RAC- Random Ass Chick

2010-08-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood

Honesty In A Relation-Ship

2010-07-21T15:05:00.000-07:00

Hey!

--Just so you know, and not because we are breaking up! You might have thought I enjoyed those conversations we had. Most of the time; I was just pretending so I can sleep with you!

Mom knows best...

2010-07-18T01:35:00.000-07:00

"I could adapt to grown-up situations as well as being with kids my own age because my mother was more like a friend to me than a real parent. I mean she was a real parent of course but it wasn't like that sort of strict parenting that a lot of people have. She was really easy-going and she was fun to be around. She treated me as an equal."

(Shut up)

2010-07-16T03:55:00.000-07:00

For all the torment
Loss of independence
For disrespect, carelessness with my emotions
For all the screams I swallow
How a soul is hollow
For you giving into temptation
For the plastic cheap replacement
How you parade around with him all while so vacant

Bad Romance

2010-06-28T22:58:00.000-07:00

you were the other men for BOTH people in the relationship?

If only you'd come for me

2010-06-24T00:53:00.000-07:00

Waking up from a coma (tossing, turning)
Sweat has covered my body (my mouth felt dry)
My life flashing before me (nothing much to say)
Still it was so boring (did you hear me sing?)
Only I could adore you (the wind through the trees)
Silently barking orders (rushing up to me)
This is only beginning (don't anger the sea)
Oh, the wave's crashing higher and higher on me

The decadence of giving into desire.

2010-06-03T00:40:00.000-07:00

There's a searing hole within me. Strangers sense it; friends see ripples on the surface. These hands have lied before, I let a stranger love me; just to block away the noise. I've kissed so many lips it's blocked my mind, names; first and last seem to blur. I bit my lips, so I could block my mind. I am consumed by the flesh haunting me.
I know temptation taunts the empty. Like a glimmer of good in a bad man's eyes. One touch, spark, electricity. Flame burns hot and viciously. Microscopic, glittery. Catalystic energy so tiny, glow, so flickering. Scintillation, glittering
Ember, heat, so viciously. Pulsing, flow, electricity. I do not want anyone, anyone who really wants me, every one that I desire, wants to be with someone else. . .
I find it so amusing.

You will like my sense of humor

Grind "R" App

2010-05-28T22:53:00.000-07:00

Unknown Memeber: We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.

David: I absolutely love you.

Un-Named Lover

2010-05-02T00:01:00.000-07:00

Dear, _______

I'm well aware your going to be fine without me. After all, you aleady love yourself plenty.

XoXo,

David Thande

Dear Boss,

2010-04-22T10:03:00.000-07:00

Dear Boss,

Has someone told you lately that your doing a great job? Have you ever thought this might not be the job for you? Just wondering?

-David

Soda-Pop

2010-04-17T23:45:00.000-07:00

what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser

dispute

2010-04-09T11:44:00.000-07:00

I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.

Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.

2010-04-05T22:43:00.000-07:00

Sunday Morning,

Unknown Location:

Unknown Time:

Naked:

( Ring ) ( Ring )

David: "I'm not sure I understand, whom am I talking to? I've lost all my numbers."

Unknown Caller: "Look over to your left, and tap the guy you slept with last night."

David: "I'm sorry still need a last name."

After The Morning After

2010-04-04T11:58:00.000-07:00

I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT drunk..

as nice as a boyfriend sounds

2010-03-28T23:51:00.000-07:00

as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.

For Real, For Sure

2010-03-22T22:56:00.000-07:00

Offically boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.

Friend Request...

2010-03-14T11:57:00.000-07:00

Today I come to the conclusion, that my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands

Friday or Tuesday?

2010-03-08T10:58:00.000-08:00

you guys were way drunker than both of me

Insight

2010-03-02T23:38:00.000-08:00

Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning

Marc - didn't feel it.

David - It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.

Marc - wait what? so it's not in america?

One Night Stand Feb 14th

2010-02-14T08:14:00.000-08:00

We had sex this morning and after he goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"

Leap Year?

2010-02-13T13:43:00.000-08:00

you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?

Days of the Present

2010-01-01T03:30:00.000-08:00

Birthday Profile
You've been living for 24 years, 7 months, and 10 days.
You were born on a Sunday.
Your date of conception was probably 17th July 1983.
You've seen 7 leap years.
Your Zodiac Sign is Aries.
Your Chinese Zodiac Sign is Rat.
Your Ruling Planet is Mars.
Your Birthstone is Diamond.
Your Birth Flower is Daisy.
Your Birth Tree is Rowan Tree.
Your Birth Number is 7.
Time till your next Birthday 140 days 20 hours 21 mins.
Your Lucky Color is Red.
Your Lucky Day is Tuesday.
Your Lucky Number is Nine or Seven.

Friday Night Plans?

2009-12-26T20:47:00.000-08:00

okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listening to glee VERY loudly.

I have compensated for my days

2009-12-22T20:29:00.000-08:00

And then I dusted my hands after I clicked "Send" thinking that would be the end of it. He'd walk away with a good feeling that a guy responded and I walk away feeling like Johnny fucking Appleseed, spreading good deeds everywhere.

This would not be the case.

Dear Aol,

Thanks for the life-lesson...I will carry forth for a long time to come...

This is about you TPB...

A aspirations....

2009-12-20T13:13:00.000-08:00

Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.

Thatta Guy

2009-12-17T01:10:00.000-08:00

In attempts to Not be THAT GUY at this party. I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.

strange little community

2009-12-12T23:32:00.000-08:00

It's a strange little community, this blogging world. If you think about it, it's pretty fucking amazing that people are taking time out of their day to read your writing! Not only that, but the countless emails I received from people relating their own personal dating stories back to me or just saying "thank you" for my writing or even going as so far to ask ME for advice on dating. Incredible.

Gay Dialogue--Translator

2009-12-09T20:26:00.000-08:00

I'm a Romantic.

-Translation-

I'm poor.

Snippets of My Novel....Transcendent Glory

2009-12-02T03:38:00.000-08:00

One word flows onto another. His heart taking cues from the audience. Watching with a passion and intensity they've never known before.....I'm reaching for heights I never dreamed existed, building naturally and inexorably to a fever crescendo of excitement.

It's a moment of sublime transcendent glory.

98% Happy, 2% Jealous

2009-11-22T23:39:00.000-08:00

I've been waiting for someone to come into my life
Who would bring me joy and give me pleasure
I have taken chances on romances once or twice
And I found that in my heart that it wasn't in the cards for me.
No Amazing Love Story Here, just me

I'm happy for those around me. I can find joy in those I hold dear.

"TIME OUT"

2009-11-20T17:52:00.000-08:00

"TIME OUT"

Remember when Zach Morris in Saved by the Bell used to do that? Everyone would freeze and he would approach the camera, breaking the fourth wall, to give his opinion when shit was getting a little too real at Bayside High?

I need to use use one of those right about now.

* * *

Whew.

Gay Dialogue--Translation

2009-11-19T20:43:00.000-08:00

I want a commitment.

--Translation--

I'm sick of masturbation.

If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people

2009-11-14T19:37:00.000-08:00

When the water hit my throat, I wretched. I suddenly realized the dark, moist sand I was laying in was not due to the ocean or sandbox... but the entire contents of my stomach. A mixture of bile and alcohol. And chunks of what looked like poached fish.

Later as looked at my poor face, I realized although I thought; I was attractive that was clearly not the case. My capillaries around my eyes burst. I look like a raccoon.

Gay Dialogue--Translator

2009-11-09T20:22:00.000-08:00

I want a commitment.

-Translation-

I'm sick of masturbation.

No, no, no. Not a fan of the "let's be friends" after break-up.

2009-11-07T13:25:00.000-08:00

My experiences with this lately, I'm struck by one thing that I might just have one thing that most people don't have: empathy and mutuality.

Marriages turn to animosity, usually, because one -or both- stop(s) respecting the other and empathy dies. Friendship becomes impossible because one person usually hurts more in the breakup than the other (for one it's liberating; for the other it's devastating).

Seems to me -for as much as my opinion is worth- that there is the hope of something more there, but the friendship has also been untested. I hope you two can maintain it. Breakups are seldom mutually beneficial at first.

"Malfeasance"

2009-10-27T09:40:00.000-07:00

Perhaps it really was my fault...maybe i did it entirely out of spite..

Oh well...

initial period

2009-10-22T00:10:00.000-07:00

Believe it or not, I actually have a history of not being able to express my feelings vocally (typing it out for strangers on the internet? No problem).

Although extremely upset during the initial period when my relationship with

*****

was over, I never once shed any tears. And my ex's can attest to this; I'm not the most comforting person when it comes to crying. I physically stiffen up, grit my teeth, and get weirded out.

Gay Dialogue--Translation

2009-10-07T20:47:00.000-07:00

You're the only man I've ever cared about.

--Translation--

You are the only man who hasn't rejected me.

Part Of Me

2009-10-04T12:00:00.000-07:00

He'll never see that part of me
I want to be for him
What i could never be for you

"No rest for the wicked!"

2009-09-25T21:34:00.000-07:00

Satan wondered how far those burned would go to seek vengeance. "Some were dumb, some are black, most were young. There ought to be something interesting there. But he couldn't wait around, there were some large, grand things going on all over the world. Something called internet was become accessible everywhere. "I can get into every home at the same time! Satan gloated. The new america was going into debt for wars and the new war was due any minute. The old world needed help thinking of new ways to get people to go to war. To still be willing to die. "No rest for the wicked!" He laughed as he flew away.

“Maybe all men are a drug. Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so high."”

2009-09-23T21:00:00.000-07:00

I've figured ****** out. Actually, wait... that's like me proclaiming that I've deciphered the hieroglyphics of the ancient Egyptians. However, I do think I'm onto his little game.

1. He's a lone-aphob. ****** hates to be alone.
2. He's a huge flirt that doesn't have any intention to do anything more
3. He uses the possibility of sex to get me to hang out
4. Although he definitely isn't the brightest crayola in the box, he certainly knows how to manipulate. He loves playing damsel in distress.

On my way to work, I'm on the phone with a good friend of mine and ******* calls me 3 times during the conversation. I finally call him back and he says (in a giggle), "Don't ignore my phone calls!"

-pinches bridge of nose-

Snippets of My Novel....Transcendent Glory

2009-09-19T13:32:00.000-07:00

Paper Thin Walls...

Los Angeles, Ca
October 23rd, 2004

I'll never forget the nights when I come stumbling home from yet another house party or night at the bars. The front door bursts open and the light from the street lamps pour into the pitch black living room. Jared in the middle with his arms around us: I'm on one side, some broad is on the other. We're all cackling like drunken idiots at some joke that if we were sober, wouldn't even crack a smile on our faces.

Jared and girl quickly retreat to his bedroom and close the door. Fighting the spins, I tumble into my own bed. I hope that I'm drunk enough to sleep through anything, but then the sound that no one wants to hear comes creeping through my paper-thin walls.

My eyes shoot open. The visual images of my childhood chum pounding home syncs a little too well with the audible noises erupting only a few feet away from where I lay my head every night.

But you've been there. Sitting patiently, loyally. I've been in this situation numerous times and it is when I turn to you most. Like a beautiful rehearsed ballet, I roll over and grab you from under my bed. I flip on your switch and crank your volume notch to "Max".

Your music drowns out the moans, the groans and the heavy breathing. You distract my overly-imaginative brain. You're dependable, you're consistent, you're a true pal.

Thank You Mr. Sony Walkman CD Player...

That is until the batteries run out, and the smell of vomit envelopes my bedroom....

•“Everybody has a plan, ’till they get hit.”

2009-09-13T08:04:00.000-07:00

I wanted to be as serene as the surface of a lake, hauntingly pretty and reflective that doesn't dare ripple.

Perez Hilton V.S. David Thande

2009-09-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

He is a vile, awful human being. I haven't clicked on his site since he outed Doogie Howser against his will.

DListed is so much funnier anyway.

Do you ban mirrors from your home? Perez?

Guys like Perez have to know that they seek to critique and mold an industry filled with people prettier than them, right?
They can't be that delusional. And then that raises the whole "Are they just resentful that they aren't as beautiful as the models wearing thoses clothes" thing....
...I just think Perez's life is one giant cum stain. Like, it felt really good when it first came out and it was weird and kind of edgy and and I dug it, but now it's just this glob of ew-ness on the carpet that I lack both the willpower and time to bother cleaning up.

Actually, for the record, I think there are still a few people to whom you need to prove you're not stupid, because from where I stand, you're a total f*cking moron who doodles on pictures of celebrities for money.

Keep on keepin' on, and all that nonsense

Less than 48 hours after meeting

2009-09-11T17:41:00.000-07:00

I was unaccustomed to between-the-sheets dialogue—or monologues for that matter. Each time he spoke, I’d snap to and say, “I’m sorry. What?” (I earned a blue ribbon for best manners in kindergarten.) He may as well have been speaking in tongues. Most of the time I had no idea what he was saying, and I preferred it that way. It was too hard trying to figure out what he meant by the things coming out of his mouth; things you only heard in porn movies; things you heard uttered by your drunk roommate when he dragged home his night’s conquest and you had to lie there, pillow over your head, pretending to be asleep, all the while judging, silently judging: “Ew! Who says that stuff?”

As it turns out: my boyfriend......

Gay Dialogue--Translation

2009-09-09T20:36:00.000-07:00

Do you love me?

--Translation--

I've done something stupid and you might find out.

Snippets of My Novel....Villains and Heroes

2009-09-08T15:18:00.000-07:00

From the chapter.... Villains and Heroes....

David has no heart, vanity oh vanity the key to a person's soul and thereby to dominance over them. Pick them apart within and without. Learn where they're strong and where they're not. What they fear and what they dream. Know them as well and better, than you do yourself.......the better to destroy them.

Airports, used to be....

2009-09-07T22:31:00.000-07:00

There's something funny about airports. It's a very "lovey" place. All around you people are embracing, holding hands, couples are kissing "hello" and kissing "goodbye".

I used to be one of these.

•“If I misbehave and nobody sees me, that’s one less lie I’ll have to tell later.”

2009-09-04T17:25:00.000-07:00

I'd been saddened a lot lately, and stressed. Even with the new friends; I'd made. Being an adult was a nightmarish system of checks and balances. It required observing yourself constantly, making sure you distinguished yourself enough to be accepted, but not to the point where you encouraged resentment.

Getting a date required acting just uninterested enough to make someone interested in you. As if to create just that invoice of mystery. That gave the impression you were unavailable, only to those few that appreciated your dark sense of humor.

But I stood out; my demeanor, the inflection in my voice. All this was hard to take for the general public, I sounded and rebounded white. But my brown eyes, and sun soaked skin determined my intelligence, my dislikes, my heroes and any unconscious thinking that didn't scream rapper/basketball star.

Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to.

2009-08-29T18:34:00.000-07:00

You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: That pulling out of this relationship, while tragic, probably saved the world.

I need never tell you, inform you, of anything I am doing........again

2009-08-26T18:32:00.000-07:00

And our relationship its very existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves the world. You don't want me, because deep down, in places you don't talk about you want me protecting the sincere moments. You need me protecting those memories. You'll use words like limiting, approval and restrictions…I'll use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a conversation who was brought on by my lapping of wine. Under the blanket of the very conversation that I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way.

I've only slept with one girl

2009-08-25T09:07:00.000-07:00

Everyone has their story to tell. Especially bloggers, right? I figure it was time to tell mine.

I suppose a little background information is needed before I begin to ramble on about my anecdotes. I am a 24 year old who packed up his things and moved to the bustling city of Los Angeles, CA as soon as I could run away. A short while ago, ( years now ) I was dumped.
He transferred schools to be closer to me and within a few months, he found someone else.

More details to come on that I suppose. However, this lays the foundation for the rest of the blog from here on out. I've come to realize within these past few months, I missed out on some of the most important social interactions with folks since being only aware of people on faceboook.

I haven't been on a dated since March.

I've only slept with one girl.

Just saying...

2009-08-24T06:53:00.000-07:00

The Times spelled moderate wrong.

attempts as jokes

2009-08-22T23:51:00.000-07:00

•Walking out of the shower to find a guy laying on top of your bed in a messy bed, wearing your t-shirt and in his undies checking his email from his blackberry

•Seeing multi-colored bottles of shampoo/body wash in your shower

•Girly/Manly smell lingering on your pathetic pillows

•Grocery shopping with a guy on your arm ( Horrified look of passerbys )

•Have someone legitimately laugh at all your shitty attempts as jokes

Gay Dialogue-Translation

2009-08-19T20:29:00.000-07:00

I really want to get to know you better.

-Translation-

So I can tell my friends about it.

at last.....

2009-08-15T20:33:00.000-07:00

... after over an entire calendar year. I reunited with my ex after 3 years.

And it couldn't have gone better.

Gay Dialogue--Translation

2009-08-13T20:38:00.000-07:00

I've been thinking a lot.

--Translation--

You're not as attractive as when I was drunk.

No Sex, No City

2009-08-09T17:30:00.000-07:00

I guess the moral of the story is:

- Don't have sex in a church parking lot.
- Don't trade sex for beer.
- Dont discuss sex or lack of getting it, in front of children

But if you're going to do either of the above, at least make sure it's good.
.

have fun and don't sleep with any trannys!

Better In Time....

2009-08-04T12:03:00.000-07:00

Is this blog hindering my looking toward the future? I certainly don't think so. Because I really try not to reflect on my old relationship, but it's almost inevitable sometimes to compare where I am at now to where I was back then. Look at the transitions of my posts now from the beginning of this blog for proof. It's amazing (to me anyway).

If anything I'm writing this to record what it's like to move ahead. I hope you don't think I sit at my computer and pine about the old days and how I can relive those times again.

I can neither run nor hide

2009-08-03T10:32:00.000-07:00

The truth with which I lived
Seems to protrude out from my heart.

Uneasy, precarious this truth makes of me
Making me unstable this truth has overpowered me.

Im not in my sense to respond
Neither can anyone librate me from this bond.

What should I do to mask my truth?
There is no curtain to conseal this bitter vermouth.

It seems this reality mocks at my disability
One day it will take advantage of my fallibility

Nowhere to escape but only to live life at stake
And fearing for disclose and my life suffer quake.